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Body Hating – Who’s That Fat, Ugly Woman in the Mirror?
Are you a woman struggling with a fat and ugly self-image? As swimsuit season rolls around, would you rather die than endure thighs? Locked in with your lover, is “Lights out, honey” your mantra? This may mean that you are really uncomfortable with your body. You are not alone. Many women struggle with negative body image. Since there are many girls unhappy with their bodies, the diet industry is getting fatter and fatter, earning more than 60 million dollars a year. That’s because diet organizations make money when they succeed in making you feel fat and insecure. When you look in the mirror, do you love what you see? Research shows that nearly 4 out of 5 American women today say they hate their bodies. That’s 80% of the female population in the entire United States. Are you one of them?
Why can’t you see yourself as you really are
The truth is that we do not see ourselves or our bodies as we are, or even as others see us, because we only see our interpretation of reality, not what is really there, because we are unable to observe – us objectively. Our perceptions are colored or filtered by our experiences. If your family was a blue family, you were given “blue glasses”. If your family and your experiences are of being part of a rose-colored group, you have been looking at the world through “rose-colored glasses.” We are all different depending on how our experiences have shaped us. Our brain is always making sense of everything we experience. The important thing to note is that it doesn’t matter what colors you’ve been experiencing the world through; it’s just a starting point. You don’t have to stay stuck with these flawed perceptions. It might be time for an update.
Self-image: the mirror in your mind
Inside each of us is the equivalent of a huge computer that stores all of our life’s experiences, in your memory. This is known as the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is not an actual part of your brain, but is said to be present in every cell of your body. This database in you contains a collection of beliefs and experiences known as your self-image. It determines how you feel about who you are, your body, your life, and everything you believe is possible. To be happy, truly happy, and to live a fulfilling life, you need to have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live harmoniously with. You have to be good enough for yourself. This will give you a good sense of self-esteem. This is an image of yourself that you can trust and believe in, like and admire, respect and honor.
When your self-image is intact, you feel good and are a confident person. When something happens that shakes or threatens you, you become insecure. If you have been abused or hurt, criticized or mocked, you may still feel the impact of that emotional pain, depending on the meaning you have given to the experience, you may tend to feel shame and find yourself hiding your light . This is only because it seems the safest option for you. If you’re stuck in a body trap, hating some part of yourself, it’s because you believe you’re this negative, shameful, disgusting, unworthy, fat, ugly, stupid, or incapable image of yourself. It’s not true!
And unless you’re able to see yourself differently, no diet, no exercise, no praise, or anything else is going to make you believe something that part of you isn’t willing to believe. To change these basic negative beliefs that limit you, and feel different about your body, without doing anything radical like cosmetic surgery or dieting, you have to change the image you have inside. The good news is that this self-image or subconscious mind is completely impersonal and unbiased with the information it contains. So if you don’t like the way you look or feel about your body, all you have to do is steer your subconscious mind or self-image in a new direction.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, plastic surgeon, performs facelifts without a scalpel
This incredible discovery of the power of self-image, and the extent of its influence, is attributed to the work of one man, Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1960s. At age 61, he wrote his first book called Psycho Cybernetics, which became a self-improvement phenomenon, selling more than 30 million copies to date. You can’t pick up a self-improvement book or program today that doesn’t take advantage of his groundbreaking discoveries that teach how to change a negative self-image. Maltz said, “The self-image is changed, for better or for worse, not only by the intellect, not by intellectual knowledge, but by ‘experiencing.'” This means that to think and feel of differently about your body, you must begin to be able to “see” yourself doing things differently.
Deep down, their ideas are focused on visualizing your goals. It really is the secret behind “The Secret”. Here’s the origin of how this all came about. Before writing Psychocybernetics, Dr. Maltz noticed that many times after a successful cosmetic procedure, his patients would continue to obsess over their imperfections that they had accepted were already well corrected.
After examining many cases, he noticed a parallel. Each of those patients who considered that cosmetic surgery did nothing for them, had very low self-esteem. They felt that deep down nothing could be done to correct their flaws. One day, Dr. Maltz brainstormed and realized what they needed was a perception correction. He made a deal with one of his clients named Jack, who was obsessed with his crooked nose. Dr. Maltz said he would not consent to operate on Jack again until Jack took a temporary step. Dr. Maltz offered to teach Jack how to recreate his distorted self-image, using a visualization process. He explained that it would take 21 consecutive days to complete the process. After this time, if Jack was still not satisfied, Dr. Maltz would do the surgery.
At the end of the 21 days, Jack was so happy with his nose that he didn’t even want the surgery.
My Experience of Going from Body Hating to Body Love: So Many Sighs About My Fat Thighs
In my experience, before I made the decision to stop dieting, I spent years obsessing over the size of my thighs. No matter how big she was, I swore she must have the biggest thighs in the world. No amount of weight loss or exercise was enough to alter my distorted perception of my body. When I finally decided to stop dieting, because I had an image of myself as a fat pig with no self-control over food, I lost all control, I could never seem to stop eating, and I gained 35 pounds.
One day standing, looking at my fat self in the mirror, I had an epiphany and realized that I had to accept myself and my thighs the way they were, or continue living a crazy life hoping and praying that the diet and the exercise would change them. . I knew I could never live under the tyranny of dieting again, so the alternative was to learn to love myself now. Since I made this choice, I now know for sure that the problem was never about the size of my thighs. It was all in my head. It was the low self-esteem and bad image that I carried with me daily. It was those angry thoughts, those nasty, critical words that had been shouted at me as a child. Because those memories were so emotionally charged, every time I looked in the mirror or remembered something to do with how I felt about my body, those tapes replayed in my mind and I became my worst critic. . That angry voice that had become mine was the reason I couldn’t stop eating. I knew I had to change the way I talked to myself and find some compassion and kindness within. It started with a decision to stop dieting and a vow that I would learn to trust myself again.
Today, now that I no longer worry about dieting or watching my weight, and know that I can trust myself around all foods, I have more respect and love for myself as I am: Andrea, the person. Food is no longer my master and I am no longer its slave. As I continue to make progress in befriending and loving my body at any size, I notice it getting smaller and smaller. I’m not trying to lose weight. I just am, and I’m doing it in the least invasive way possible.
I love knowing that I can have cookies, chips, ice cream, and pasta in my house and be surrounded by tons of goodies and not feel like eating them when I’m not hungry. I love the sense of empowerment that comes with being able to put a bag clip on my chips and put them back in the cupboard, knowing that I don’t want to keep eating them and they’ll be there for later. And on the increasingly rare occasions when I eat a little more or a lot more than my body wants, I know it’s no reason to beat myself up, feel disgusted, or feel guilty because I haven’t done anything wrong. No need for forgiveness.
When I overeat, it’s just an indication to me that something deeper is hurting me. And by taking care of it, finding out what it is, handling those wounds, and treating myself in the most loving and kind way possible, the desire to abuse myself with food goes away. Let me tell you about everything I’ve learned along the way. I am full of information that I want to teach you. Let me help you start your journey to a new non-diet mindset, so you too can start loving your thighs or any other part of you at any size.
Here are some tips to help you change a fat and ugly self-image:
1. Watch body affirming television TV shows like Lifetime’s How to Look Good Naked are an instant mood lifter. Hosted by Carson Kressley, former co-host of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Carson focuses on helping women move from hating their bodies to loving them. I like to think of it as a 60 minute makeover. With Carson at the helm, you’ll cry tears of laughter as you learn to see your body in a more loving and compassionate light.
2. Look for role models Find a woman who has the same body type as you and who already does what you want to do. If you hate your thighs and want to feel comfortable going to the beach in a bathing suit, find a woman who already does and ask her permission to ask her some questions. Tell her you’re not comfortable and you really want to understand how to think more like her so you can like your body more. Ask her what makes her feel comfortable? What does she think when she is at the beach? What motivates her and many other questions you may have.
3. Get support Spend time with other women who are also committed to appreciating their bodies.
4. Study role models Read books about fit women like you who like their bodies. This is a less assertive but still effective way of achieving the same goal as talking to another woman and asking her questions.
5. Stop scale display Don’t let anyone or anything tell you how you have a right to feel. Step away from the ladder. Keep it or throw it away. Stop judging yourself by that nasty piece of sheet metal.
Finally, and most importantly, you are not your thighs, your butt, your frizzy hair, or your saggy breasts, or any other distinct body part. You are so much more than what you see. Start imagining how you want to be, when you’re the size of your choice, and instead of focusing on dieting, eating less, or doing anything to make it happen, just do the things you would do if you were this girl . You Juicy woman! I believe in you! you
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