How Much Food Does A 7 Month Old Cat Need A Feline Soap Opera?

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A Feline Soap Opera?

live with an animal communicator does it mean everyone gets along?

There’s no doubt that integrating cats can be very, very difficult. In my last post about Melissa’s integration I thought I had finally turned a corner. Well, maybe that was just another corner in a complex maze.

In the wild, domestic cats naturally live in multigenerational female family groups, as do lions. But when they are confined indoors and when the cats are not related to each other, the conflict can be difficult to overcome.

In our human families, we bring together cats that are not biologically related to each other. This can pose great challenges as it is not natural for them to live this way.

When Starlight arrived almost 5 years ago (that long ago? Really?) and was quickly integrated in about 2 months, I could hardly believe how easy it was.

Of course, a lot of preparation had gone into it, even before he was born. Also, Starlight has a very sweet disposition. He does not like to challenge anyone for anything. So naturally the existing hierarchy was never questioned and all was well.

Then came Melissa.

Melissa, by personality and possibly genetics, is a very dominant cat.

He wanted to take over the brood where he was born.

Then, at 6 months old, I hoped to master all 3 cats in my family.

Despite my best efforts to dissuade her, Melissa knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t about to back down.

She refused to listen to everything I had to say (perpetual teenager?) and still yells at me when I start telling her something she doesn’t want to hear.

Sometimes I have an image of a child throwing a tantrum, screaming and putting his paws (fingers) in his ears.

From her first day here, Melissa never showed the slightest submission to the top cat, Sakhara, and she never intended to rule the household.

I explained that there are several ways to express dominance, and that violence is not always the best. But of course, with “paws in ears”, Melissa has not listened to me and completely rejects my requests.

Melissa is already over 2 years old.

Melissa is now the dominant cat.

His relationships with Violet and Starlight are generally well-balanced and respectful, most of the time.

However, with Sakhara, the conflict continues unabated.

Sakhara refuses to officially resign from his position.

Melissa continues to hit Sakhara at least once a day, and she goes out of her way to do so. Even if Sakhara is sitting on my lap minding her own business, Melissa will attack her. I can see in Melissa’s eyes and body language when she’s getting ready to attack.

Nothing I’ve done to try to stop this has made any difference except in the moment. If I whistle at Melissa or admonish her, she backs off and then waits until I’m not looking.

Due to Sakhara’s age and general health (around 21), I still have interference. To me, Sakhara owes a certain deference as she has always been kind, caring and considerate of others.

Sakhara has chosen to sleep in a room alone with the door closed. That way I don’t have to go through Melissa to get to a litter box after I’ve gone to bed. I’m fine with that, but when I open the door in the morning, Melissa walks right in front of me at lightning speed.

In my efforts to work things out between these two, I discovered a past life in which Melissa and Sakhara had a terrible conflict that resulted in horrific torture and death for Melissa. Melissa is relentless and Sakhara won’t even forgive herself.

So the karma continues.

While I have not completely given up on my efforts to help each of these beautiful beings find inner peace, there is a powerful lesson for me in all of this. While meditating one day, I was told to use this affirmation:

“I accept God’s perfection in everything.

I let go of having to fix everything.”

A truly powerful lesson. It is not for me to solve this. It depends on them.

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