How Much Food Should My 18 Month Old Be Eating Struggles of Parenting: Dealing With "Destructive" Behavior

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Struggles of Parenting: Dealing With "Destructive" Behavior

It’s human nature for kids to misbehave from time to time. This attitude is a form of exploration in the unknown, to learn oneself and one’s surroundings. How is it? From these actions come consequences, and these consequences are another way of learning.

But there will be a distinction between normal and abnormal behavior. It’s how quickly you can perceive the signs and solve the problem. Next, we’ll talk about:

  • types of child behavior,

  • parenting styles and how it affects a child,

  • influence between nature and/or upbringing, and

  • possibility to eliminate bad behavior.

What you need to know about children’s behavior

Why is my child behaving “this way”? Is it just a phase or serious signs of abnormality? When will you know if it’s too much? These are some questions that parents ask during the visit to the doctor.

First, you need to know the difference between normal behavior and abnormal behavior. Children, especially young children, are at a stage of knowing what they like and what they don’t like. This is where they show independence and ability to express themselves through actions.

Coincidentally, young children do not know how to control their own emotions. They are still learning to be empathetic and patient. Now, not all toddlers are the same, some can control their emotions early on, but others need parental guidance.

Abnormal behavior is when your child’s attitude is too much. Does he throw tantrums more than three times a day? Or maybe, your child hits, bites and yells at everyone on a regular basis? There are some cases where your child does not respond well to discipline.

To know when to tolerate a certain attitude, you need to consider three types of behavior:

1. regulations

This type of behavior is the norm or acceptable attitude in society. It can include the ability for a child to clean up their toys, potty train, make friends, and many more.

2. Occasionally

It is behavior that is only acceptable under certain circumstances. Like throwing tantrums during an uncomfortable event, not playing or eating while the child is sick, etc.

3. destructive

Behavior of a child that is harmful to self and others. Includes hitting other children, acting out in public, yelling or cursing at parents, etc.

The parent’s response causes the child’s reaction

Do you think your child is not listening to you? Or does he react in a different way than you expected him to? From the title itself, have you thought about the kind of reaction you show your child?

A child’s behavior is a reflection of the parent’s reaction. The type of parenting style you use can affect your child in a positive or negative way. How is it? Because the way you react is often copied by your child.

When a child witnesses how you talk to your husband/wife, your child behaves in the same way. Are you in doubt?

Well, what about the type of food your child is consuming? One parent eats everything, while the other is a picky eater, especially when it comes to vegetables. The child will soon think it’s okay not to eat the vegetables because one parent doesn’t.

Now, how can you get your child to like eating vegetables when he sees you not eating them? Isn’t it hypocrisy? When it comes to attitude, your reaction counts. Below are three types of responses:

1. Ignoring as a form of discipline

Parents believe that ignoring your child is the best way to parent. In a way, it can be useful, but only in certain situations. Ignoring your child during his tantrums will send a message that you are not tolerating his behavior or that you won’t “buy” it.

The wrong way to use this is when your child pulls their hair aggressively or doesn’t share their toys. If you use this type of parenting style, your child will interpret that it is okay to continue the action/not wrong.

2. Active control

Being too controlling can backfire. If you are strict and scold your child every time he makes a mistake, he will be passive and become a rebel. Yes, this can be good, temporarily, because your child will want to avoid any punishment.

But sooner or later, your child won’t follow your orders or hide secrets from you. A strict parenting style can also develop a dependent child with low self-esteem.

3. Two-way trading

Keep in mind that your child is adjusting to a new phase, the phase of learning more than he feels and wants. If your child misbehaves, resort to telling them, “No, that’s not the right way” instead of “NO! Go and rest now!”.

“Time out” is only necessary when your child repeats a certain misbehavior. Therefore, to avoid any repetition, you need to make sure that you deliver the message that will not make the child feel accused or scolded.

As parents, be sure to control your emotions and expressions so as not to negatively affect your child’s attitude.

Nature or nurture: which is more influential?

Many people debate the influence of environment and genetics on an individual’s behavior. Nature, known as genetics, is seen as the reason why an individual reacts differently to others. While Nurture is also known as environmental effects.

what do you believe in Is behavior and/or attitude affected by what a person experiences in their day-to-day life? Or, is the cause through what he got from the ancestors?

Nature

There are studies that measured the influence of both factors. One case concerns twins who were separated as soon as they left their mother’s womb. Years later, they met again and there were many similarities in the twin’s attitude.

Now, the environment they live in is different between them. One went to a prestigious university with a room of her own while the other stayed in foster care, sharing a room with 5 kids and attending a public school. But why is there an equal attitude?

It’s because of genetics. Genetics play an important role in the well-being of the individual. Like diseases and physical attributes, attitude can be passed on.

to nurture

Meanwhile, when it comes to the environment, you should consider several factors:

  • Interaction with different types of people,

  • Family circle, i

  • Type of place or housing.

Culture is a perfect example of environmental influence. Each group has different norms and beliefs, people follow this set of rules through observation. When a group of people look up while walking, others will too, and this is what we call the bystander effect.

If a child is taught to clean his room every day, the child will adapt until he grows up. Instead of a child who was not taught to clean.

Now, how can we relate this to a child’s destructive behavior? Do not limit yourself to one side, be sure to study and find the possible causes of your child’s attitude.

Is it because you were too harsh while teaching your toddler (environment)? Or maybe, your child has some kind of disorder (genetics)?

Is it too late to fix bad behavior?

Studies have found that once an individual grows into their 30s and 40s, it becomes difficult to change their behavior. It means that it is too late to renew because they have become accustomed to a certain pattern.

Take, for example, a woman who is an impulse shopper, one way to “change” this is by limiting her options. The truth is that you won’t be able to completely eliminate this behavior, what you did was divert your attention to something else. This is different in the case of small children.

Toddlers between the ages of 18 months and 3 years are still “finding” who they are. Therefore, there may be cases where the child suddenly runs out of anger or throws away all the toys he has.

As long as you don’t tolerate this kind of behavior, it won’t go on forever. Is it possible to fix this? Of couse! How?

1. No to “shame”

Embarrassing your child in front of friends and family is a form of shaming. Today, some parents post their children’s “punishments” as a way to teach them a lesson.

Shame will do nothing for your parent-child relationship, it will only create conflict.

2. Punishment is not the answer

Belts, hangers and sometimes a broom is what some parents use to punish their child. Other forms of punishment is verbal to shout while pointing the finger. When a child witnesses a form of violence, they will do the same to something/someone else.

3. Put yourself in your child’s shoes

Before you scream or do something rash, put yourself in your child’s shoes and see their perspective. How will they feel when they see you react in a certain way? People say that children will repeat the same behavior when you blame/correct too much.

The best way is to teach your child how to behave by being a good example. It starts with you, you define your child’s behavior.

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