How Much Formula Should A Four Day Old Baby Eat Let Go of What Was and What Could Have Been

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Let Go of What Was and What Could Have Been

After my daughter’s accident it became clear that our life as we knew it would change forever. My daughter may not be able to achieve the career goals she set out to achieve. We may never see her graduate from high school or get married and have her own family.

I grieved over what it was and quickly decided to let it go because they were “minor” issues compared to the current challenges we were facing. Holding on to these unrealistic expectations would serve neither me nor Tanya.

You can ask the question, “How can you give up what Tanya can achieve? That’s very limiting thinking.” My answer then and now is: I don’t really know what he will be capable of in the future. What I have to focus on is this present moment What can she realistically do today?

After the accident, Tanya was like a newborn, starting over. My expectations had to meet her current needs. Not from my perspective nor the ego driven desire of what “could have been” would only add to everyone’s stress.

I have seen this in my own experience and in working with families with a disabled loved one and “normal” people. Their expectations exceed the capabilities of their loved ones in that moment. From my observations and perspective, by keeping the pressure on to achieve unrealistic goals, we were actually counterproductive to our desired outcome.

I think the important question to ask is, “Why am I holding on to unrealistic expectations?” Is it your ego? Do you try to please others? Don’t I have to dream BIG.” Or you fill in the blank. All I ask is that you be honest with your answer.

No one expects a baby to walk and eat steak. These would be unrealistic expectations and considered abusive. Parents should protect and nourish the newborn with only breast milk or formula at first. Being loving, kind, keeping the baby warm, fed and protected allows the baby the opportunity to grow and develop.

As the baby develops, it’s time to introduce it appropriate food, provide the opportunities and encouragement to crawl and finally walk. The important point here is to provide the circumstances within their capabilities grow up. Waiting for this to happen before you are ready creates unnecessary stress, nobody wins.

Letting go of what they were, my expectations, unrealistic goals and allowing Tanya to grow it gives him space at his own pace to develop. This OPTIMAL space will open your universe in the healthiest way.

It is when I “let go” of what Tanya “could have been” that I experience incredible growth. This magnificent process relieves me of so much stress and gives me so much freedom to appreciate her as she is. now. It allows him the freedom to become who he needs to be now, not who he thought he might have been.

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