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Watch Body Affirming TV Like "How to Look Good Naked" – Tip 14 – Be Curvy and Confident at Any Size
For a plus-size woman, it’s not easy to live in our fast-diet, thin, media-driven, pick-and-fit, cut-and-drop, food-obsessed society. Most women struggling with excess weight get stuck in a private body war, playing body comparison games with every girl they see. Almost certain to have drawn the shortest stick, they feel unhappy in their skin. This results in obsession with food and weight, “not being in the mood”, feeling overwhelmed by mental and/or physical clutter, “doormat syndrome”, avoiding social activities, fear of intimacy , low libido, trust issues, risk avoidance, and a general lack of confidence, not to mention how it undermines the very foundations of the whole family.
With their body image in tatters and their self-image depleted, many accomplished and powerful women silently suffer from resenting their mirrors, fearing their scales and hating their bodies, wishing they were thinner. Research shows that nearly 4 in 5 American women today say they hate their bodies. That’s 80% of the female population in the entire United States. Are you one of them? If so, I have a great body image booster for you!
Self-Image Makeover in 60 Minutes – Lifetime Reality Show, “How to Look Good Naked”
Good news, America! Lifetime TV has a fabulous hit reality TV series, called “How to Look Good Naked” (HTLGN). Originally created in the UK, it became a flash hit and came to the United States. Enter Carson Kressley, an openly gay man, who is a professional stylist and fashion designer for stars. He’s a former Queer Eye for the Straight Guy co-host and actor whose delightfully playful attitude and approach to empowering women and training them to love their bodies makes him the perfect host for the new show. Lifetime Take it from me, girl. This is a 60-minute self-image makeover that will leave you feeling tingly inside, as it will make you question all the irrational beliefs you have about your body.
It focuses on creating internal transformation by guiding women to see themselves differently and empowering them to let go of their old negative, fat and ugly self-images. When I saw the show, I was moved to tears. Feeling inspired to share the women’s stories with my readers, I reached out to several of the show’s contributors (nominees) and asked them to interview them.
The plan of the show is that over the course of 5 days, each woman learns how to dress to flatter her body type, find the right basic underwear to give her a great shape, and how to do her makeup and her hair for maximum impact. Each episode celebrates the transformation with a glamorous, Hollywood-style photoshoot in which the women not only accept what they see in the mirror, but flaunt it, naked.
In my opinion, these women are true role models and incredibly brave to be willing to go on national television and share so much of themselves, to open up and expose their vulnerabilities, to let other women know that they are not alone. To inspire and encourage my readers, I’ve included their interviews in my forthcoming book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In.” Here is an excerpt from Shannon’s story:
So many sighs on her big fat thighs – “I was so embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit.” -Shannon
Shannon Flores is 29 years old. She’s a beautiful, curvaceous woman who lives in sunny California with her husband, Jeremy, and four children, Ryan, Samantha, Kaitlyn, and Kyra. Although she had a swimming pool in her backyard, before being on HTLGN, she never took advantage of it because she was embarrassed to be seen by her husband or neighbors in swimsuits. After having four children, back to back, she says, “my chest just sags. My hips get bigger. My thighs get bigger. My butt gets bigger. Babies do to your body.”
Keep tightly closed in a box
Like so many other women, as a busy wife and mother, Shannon put everyone before herself. Hiding behind dingy, drab, oversized mommy clothes, she refused to spend money on anything new, hoping to one day lose weight. Mocked by her own negative talk for years, Shannon tortured herself by focusing on her imperfections. Avoiding mirrors, bathing suits and anything that reveals her curvaceous body, Shannon admits to not being as physical with her hubby as she would like to be, saying, “It definitely ruined our relationship. And with lights off, I still felt uncomfortable.” Keep well locked in a box. She knew she wasn’t really living and admitted to being ashamed and disgusted with her body, not wanting her husband to see her truly naked. So she nominated herself to be on the show.
In our interview, Shannon candidly shared with me, “When they stuck this picture of my body on this truck and they asked everyone, ‘What do you see? What do you see? None of them said, “You know she’s perfect. She’s got a model body. Because I don’t. But they pointed out the good things. Look at her eyes. Look at her skin color. Look this. Look at this. And I started to realize, I’m not half bad. My body is more than my thighs. That’s not the point everyone is looking at.” So I started to realize that I had to start looking at life that way too. I have to start looking at all the positive things, no matter how small. I just need to point them out and start focusing more on them.”
Now Shannon takes advantage of her pool at least twice a week, either swimming or sunbathing, saying, “I don’t care. I walk around my yard in my bathing suit. Life is far too short to care what other people think of me. After regaining 30 of the 60 pounds she had lost on Weight Watchers, following the birth of her last child, she said, “I’m doing pretty well. I feel good. I look good and I’m not going to put any more effort into trying to lose weight. When I asked her what her special advice was to women who were where she was before, she replied, “Just feel good about who you are right now, right now.”
Here are some fashion tips Shannon shared with me and some extras from the How to Look Good Naked website. Follow these tips if you want to look fuller and more confident at any size:
be bold – Try everything. If you see something you like, take a chance and try it. You’ll never know what you’re missing if you get stuck in the same rut.
inquire – Look for clothes on fit women like you that you admire. Watch shows like How to Look Good Naked and What Not to Wear for ideas on how to buy clothes to accentuate and flatter your body type.
Room by room Build a wardrobe of separate pieces. Similar to renovating a home, shopping is a process. It’s still a work in progress.
Accentuate the positive Carson suggested emphasizing a small waist and wide hips, wearing fitted jackets that tie around the waist, and for short women like Shannon, aiming for jackets that cover just the hips or are shorter.
For hourglass figures – Wear a wrap dress to accentuate your curves, high boots with jeans will give your body more length and balance out your curvy hips. To define a small size, choose tailored shirts with V-necks
For tall women – Choose monochromatic outfits to create a long slimming effect. Wear tapered skirts, then flare out at the hem for balance. Draw attention to the center of your body by wearing shiny tops under jackets. Try clothes in different shapes and colors.
For a bust with Bam! – To complement your curves and create balance, use scoop necklines to draw attention away from the bust, high armholes on jackets to create a more balanced, slimmer silhouette, and wear delicate necklaces that end just at the top of the low-cut
For big arms – Wear open-neck wrap tops to flatter the neckline and waistline. Three-quarter sleeves show only the thinnest part of the arm. Jackets with puffed shoulders make it easier to armhole for a looser fit.
For completely faded girls – Buy fitted jackets that end just above the widest part of your leg. Wear brightly colored tops with nice details to draw the eye upwards, Avoid jeans with small back pockets which will make your butt look bigger, Wear low waistbands to create the illusion of a smaller butt , Choose A-line skirts with a natural waistline to flatter your figure.
For more on this fabulous and fun 60-minute self-image makeover, I encourage you to watch the show. If you can’t find it in your local listings, run, don’t walk, and go straight to http://www.carsonkressley.com You can download entire episodes from iTunes. There are also some that you can watch for free.
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