How Much Medicine To Give 2 Month Old Baby Fever Keeping The Mother-Son Relationship Healthy

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Keeping The Mother-Son Relationship Healthy

Throughout human history, mother-son relationships have been considered special. Many women say having a son gives them a sense of fulfillment. One woman said: “It’s as if through him I had found the part I was missing.

Patriarchal societies place a higher value on sons. Sometimes the “male child focus” can become obsessive. In India, special rituals are held to invoke divine intervention in the bestowal of a son. Sons are required to maintain the lineage, care for parents in their old age, and ensure the salvation of souls after death. As such, the boys receive preferential treatment, with the best of food, health care, education and protection. This “preference for sons” has led to significant female feticide in several countries, resulting in a biased sex ratio.

Researchers at the University of Richmond in Virginia have found that women develop a set of “mother neurons” that function as “bad mother” or “good mother” switches in the brain. These clusters of brain cells created during pregnancy and activated after birth are responsible for good or bad parenting. A certain number of neurons must be activated for “good mothering” to take place.

A team from Yale University is using brain scans to study the areas of the brain that lead to good or bad mothering. Dr James Swain says: “We have identified certain areas of the brain where there is a link between neural activity and the measurement of ‘adequate’ or ‘inadequate’ parenting.”

Until now, no one has found a scientific explanation why a mother loves her son more than her daughter. Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene” suggests that this maternal devotion is a selfish strategy to ensure the survival of her genes. She knows that after a certain age she can no longer reproduce. She therefore protects her male offspring because he will eventually propagate her genetic heritage.

When a mother has this protective love for her son, she becomes fiercely protective of his life, crippling his emotional growth and strapping him to her apron as “Momma’s Boy.” This tendency has been documented even since biblical times in the story of Rebecca, who encouraged her favorite son Jacob to steal his brother’s blessing by impersonating him. But she had to suffer because he was separated from her for many years, to protect him from Esau’s wrath.

The Greek mother Thetis immersed her son Achilles in the magic river Styx, to make him invulnerable. But of course she left him with an unprotected heel.

Just like mother-daughter relationships, close mother-son relationships are important in the early formative years. Infants begin to show distress when separated from their mother. But every mother should keep in mind that this is only a temporary phase. Physical distancing should begin early in the case of a boy because of the erotic potential of such a bond. Mollycoddling is harmful to the emotional health of both mother and son.

The Oedipus complex is a well-known phenomenon. It is based on the Greek myth in which Oedipus views his father as a rival for his mother’s love. So he kills him and marries his mother Jocasta.

The period between 18 months and three years is when a child becomes aware of their own sexual identity. He develops a concept of himself through the exploration of his own body. Between the ages of three and five, libidinal and ego development takes place. This can well be defined as the Oedipus phase, when a child has a desire to possess his mother, and even begins to see his father as an adversary. It is a passing phase, and a wise mother will gradually wean him from such feelings until he begins to identify with his father.

Reasons for a mother’s abnormal feelings:

• When a mother has been abandoned by her father in her own childhood, she may overprotect her son to compensate for this feeling of abandonment. She wants her son to remain in this Oedipal phase for his own development. Sons cannot be surrogate husbands or fathers; neither are they toys for his enjoyment.

There are many great men who have suffered because of this overprotection. Andrew Carnegie’s mother made him promise he wouldn’t marry until he died. It must have been a frustrating experience. He ended up getting married a year after his death, at the age of 52.

Dwight Eisenhower also had an obsessive mother. Once, when he was quarantined for scarlet fever, she used a ladder to climb up and see her son daily through a window.

However, a mother who suffers from her father’s abandonment as a child might also find it difficult to bond and become violent towards her son.

• If a woman’s emotional needs are not met by her husband either because of his career, or his thoughtlessness, or because of infidelity, she can turn to her male child. She may shower him with kisses or hugs or verbal professions of love. This form of “emotional incest” seeks to alienate the father from his son’s love. Real incest is not excluded.

• Single parents, celibate or widowed, may also be overly indulgent and protective of their male children, to compensate for the absence of a father.

Destructive effects of such dysfunctional relationships:

On the child:

1. Overreliance on the mother leads to emotional and mental growth retardation. He is unable to cope with life’s challenges, has behavioral issues, and is often seen as a “chicken”. The mother does not want her son to grow up and plans to keep their relationship exclusive.

2. Inability to maintain healthy relationships with others. It can even harm her sexuality and destroy her ability to have a happy marriage. It will avoid commitment. If he does marry, it may end in divorce due to his mother’s constant interference. He won’t have the courage to stand up to her and protect his wife from her mother’s constant bullying.

3. A manipulative and seductive mother and a passive and distant father can turn the boy into a homosexual.

4. Stifled love can turn out to be a dangerous emasculating attachment, making the son sexually dysfunctional.

On the Mother:

1. A woman who shifts her time and priority to her son will lose her husband. There will be a lack of intimacy and many sexual problems. Her husband will begin to look elsewhere for his fulfillment. He could become a workaholic or forge extramarital affairs or indulge in alcohol or gambling.

2. A mother whose life revolves around her son is lulled by the subconscious assurance that he will never leave her.

3. An incestuous relationship may develop. Inappropriate feelings for her son are a form of abuse and can be demoralizing.

How to maintain a healthy mother-son relationship:

• Respect your son’s personality. Treat him with deep respect and help him develop his personality.

• Raise your son to be a well-rounded human being mentally, physically, and spiritually. “Maternal love” kills. So don’t hold on too tightly.

• Set healthy boundaries and know when to physically distance.

• Parenthood is a joint venture. Fathers should not be excluded from the relationship. They too should be allowed to bond with their sons. Parental responsibilities involve equipping them with life strategies such as respect for elders, respect for the opposite sex, discipline, love, and good example. The goal should be to foster maturity, independence and self-reliance in adulthood.

• Don’t neglect your husband. Take time off from mothering to be “together” with him. Talk, be attentive and be intimate. Let your love grow by sharing the responsibility of raising it.

• Be a good and worthy role model. Let him learn from you how to respect and treat his wife when he is married.

• Always remember that the child is not your husband. So don’t impose adult responsibilities on him.

• Change your focus. Take the time to provide for your other children. Find new activities so you don’t have to think about your son.

• Pray and ask God for wisdom to manage your emotions with responsibility and self-respect.

As feminist Naomi Lewinsky said, “We shouldn’t need our children. We should not merge with them except when they are babies. We should not let our disordered feelings seep into the development of our children. distinct individuals. »

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