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A Good Night’s Sleep – I Wish, I Wish, I Wish
Who would have thought that 5 little letters could mean so much, but if your world has been thrown into chaos by the loss of a loved one, they mean a lot.
Sleep is one of the things that is greatly affected by our grief and is often a symptom of the major upheavals that occur in our body, mind, heart and life.
There will be some of you, like this guy, who could sleep soundly for many hours, grief just totally knocked you out! Unfortunately for many other bereaved people, there are a myriad of sleep issues that will plague you:
I can not sleep.
Fall asleep but sleep poorly and wake up frequently.
Are troubled by nightmares when you sleep.
Sleep well during the day, you could sleep forever but once it gets dark forget it!
So what to do?
Here are some ideas you might not have considered and might want to try. As always, it’s your grief. Do what’s right for you and it’s up to you to make sure it’s safe for you and doesn’t conflict with any health conditions you may have or medications you take. Watch over you; This is not medical advice, it is information only.
Give yourself a fighting chance:
Before nightfall, we are often faced with it. Without even realizing it, we began to associate the bed with being awake. We firmly planted the seed of impossibility in our behaviors and brains, it became hard-wired. Add to that the perpetual worry of facing tomorrow and the days that follow and we have a lot of trouble.
1. Accept that you can’t sleep – choose to rest instead.
2. Make the place you lie down comfortable. Buy a new rug, put on a peaceful image, and surround yourself with things that soothe your whole being.
3. Remove the clock from the side – keep something under the bed if you need an alarm.
Relax your body as much as possible:
4. Develop a sleep preparation routine, your brain will start to recognize it.
5. Take a relaxing bath before going to bed, possibly with scented oil.
6. Try some gentle yoga with deep breathing.
7. Relax your body – tense each part of your body sequentially and relax. Don’t forget your jaw.
8. Find a relaxation CD or guided imagery CD that you use before bed or in bed.
9. Try an herbal tea such as valerian tea, it also comes in supplement form.
10. Melatonin supplements are used now, as always, consult a doctor first.
11. Certain essential oils can help with insomnia.
12. Put on some background music. Nothing stimulating, nothing that arouses and stresses your emotions – peaceful and gentle. Use the sleep timer if you have one on the CD or MP3 player and lie back listening to music.
There is no switch on your brain:
You’re exhausted, flop into bed and it comes to life. The images, the thoughts, those moments, the homework, the assumptions – it all comes flooding in with unrelenting fury. Just when you want to sleep, he’s kind of awake and won’t stop his infernal chatter. There are several things you can try here – distracting and going with the flow.
13. Stop! Replace thoughts with a peaceful image, a beautiful place.
14. Start counting from 1 to 10, reverse, repeat.
15. Replace your Guided Imaging CD.
16. Choose a soothing word and say it in your head…choose another one.
17. Inhale and exhale while counting.
18. Oftentimes, being in bed is a quiet place where thoughts come, but we don’t want them to come while we try to calm our mind and rest. So get up.
19. Let them come during the day or when you get up. Give yourself 10 minutes for them to do their job. Write a few words that sum up the overdrive. Once it comes out on paper, part of it comes out of your head. You can then start thinking about what is going to help you the most with this.
20. If you can’t sleep, get up, have a snack and watch something on TV (nothing too stimulating). Pre-record or set aside a selection of “can’t sleep” movies or programs.
21. Keep a magazine or book next to the bed to draw from. Electronic devices are great for this – pre-load them with easy-to-read stuff.
Simplify your life:
Often we worry so much about our lack of sleep because we have things to do the next day. Go to work; take care of children or grandchildren. This puts enormous pressure on us.
22. Plan to have a day once or twice a week where you reschedule the commitments you have. Get someone to look after the kids, see if you can make your start time more flexible.
23. Although it may be tempting and sometimes necessary, know that if you sleep all day, nights are going to be a problem. You decide.
24. See your doctor if you’re really down and nothing is working. We all need help from time to time.
25. Be gentle with yourself. You deal with so many things. Know that this is normal, that you are normal and that you are doing your best.
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