How Much Milk And Solids For 7 Month Old Baby How Can I Start a New Routine For My Baby, Toddler Without Any Crying?

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How Can I Start a New Routine For My Baby, Toddler Without Any Crying?

I frequently get phone calls from sleep-deprived parents asking for my help, explaining the routine they’re currently using and what they’d like to achieve with the new routine, and then adding… “But, I don’t want any crying …my husband and I are not doing well”.

I fully understand this request and my goal is to give parents the skills to improve their baby/toddler’s routine without crying or distress and sometimes this happens at first sleep, but sometimes it’s not possible. In the case of newborn up to around 3 months of age, we often “adjust” the routine with effective uptime, downtime and bedroom environment and they watch us in fat and say “Thank God someone knew what I needed! ” and fall asleep without a murmur.

In other cases, the baby needs a few days to adjust to the new routine, react to new cues and learn to settle into his own bed. We must remember that the baby is intelligent and has only responded to the regular cues and routines that you have initiated since birth. What you’ve done has been ‘working’ for everyone so far and although we have valid reasons to change the routine, baby doesn’t know we’re going to change anything and so sometimes they’ll protest!

Case study: Baby around 4 to 6 weeks old.

Presents as very unstable day and night, sleeps 20-45 minutes a day, often only sleeps on mum’s chest or in someone’s arms, in a sling or in bed with mum and dad. Refuse to sleep in bed/crib, mom feels stuck at home because baby won’t sleep in stroller either. The baby is not feeding very well, is very restless and is particularly restless after feedings. He generally feeds best when he falls asleep. Mom and Dad suspect reflux or colic. Parents have tried the pacifier with limited success, baby is wrapped for all sleeps but comes out frequently.

Baby Goals:

Feeds in a relaxed manner, likes to play, gives obvious signs of testing, appreciates sleep cues, lies down calmly and settles down to sleep. Appreciates personal sleep needs and wakes up happy and hungry for the next meal and ready to play again……

To plan:

We review the bedroom environment, make feeding and playtime more efficient, remove accessories that prevent self-installation, identify signs of baby’s fatigue, and when baby is ready for bed, fine-tune the wrapping technique and provide baby with new clues to sleep. .

Potential results:

*Once in bed, baby may start moaning/talking occasionally like a “roller coaster” for a few minutes. A moan is a noise you feel comfortable with and feels like they are settling on their own, mom and dad feel happy to stay out of the room because baby n is not upset and the moan gradually becomes quieter. Shortly after, baby is calm and sleepy. Baby ends up sleeping 2 hours without waking up because he is comfortable and his environment promotes restful sleep.

* Once in bed, baby instantly recognizes that the sleep environment is different and begins to cry and protest asking for the usual bedtime routine. It’s completely normal for babies to cry and ask for help, they don’t know how to do it themselves and are relying on you for help. The goal is for baby to settle in independently, so we can’t afford to put him to sleep, we just have to calm him down and show him that he can fall asleep. The baby who needs help settling in will usually wake up after 40-45 minutes and need a little more settling in from mom and dad to get back to sleep and for another sleep cycle of 40 to 45 minutes. For about a week, with mom and dad’s consistency and perseverance, baby will learn to settle in without our help. The ability to settle on their own will allow the baby to sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready to do so.

Case study: 9 months.

Presents as enjoying milk foods, usually to fall asleep. Started solids but still not eating well. Mainly fruit and vegetables, cereals and pasta, rice. Rolling on the floor, not yet crawling, but standing up in the living room and in the cot. Started moaning on the floor so was offered extra time for swings, walkers, jolly jumper where he is often carried. Getting off the bed sheet and getting up in bed. Starts sleeping in own bed but frequently wakes up yelling at mum and dad until pacifier is returned, fed or brought to their bed. If he sleeps in bed all night, he’s awake at 5-6am and wants to get up and start the day.

Baby Goals:

Baby enjoys family meals with snacks in high chair, has appropriate amount of milk for age, crawls and explores the house gaining good sleep, settles down to sleep in bed, sleeps soundly all day night and wakes up around 7am for breakfast. ..

To plan:

Look at the bedroom environment, encourage proper floor play. Increase the amount of protein in the diet and discuss a mutually acceptable time for milk feedings. Introduce a sleeping bag, encourage self-installation in bed without the pacifier, discourage getting into mom and dad’s bed, reduce “wake up rewards”.

Results:

Once in bed, baby will protest by yelling or even screaming. After 9 months of bedtime habits and routines, everything has changed and baby is not happy, he knows exactly what he wants! It is very important to recognize it and to concretely reassure it with baby, as well as consistency and perseverance. Baby is counting on your consistency and perseverance to “believe” that the routine has changed at sleep time and is not going back to the old one.

If new routines have been tried unsuccessfully for a few days and have reverted to old habits, baby will scream every time something new is tried, because yelling at you made you come back last time! It’s also important to be consistent with day and night sleeps and not confuse baby with different routines. We’re not hurting baby, we’re just changing the rules and the only way baby knows how to communicate that to you is to cry or scream, which usually gets him what he wants. Older toddlers can simply say “I want my pacifier back!” or “I don’t want to fall asleep!” but your baby can’t say those things.

I want mom and dad to respond to baby whenever he is upset and settle down “by practice” until baby is calm. Next, they must learn to listen to interpret moans or comfortable noises that set in when baby is not upset. On average, baby will take an average of 30 minutes to fall asleep the first time and will usually require a 40-45 minute resettlement over the first 3-7 days until baby learns to do this on their own.

When baby learns to fall asleep, he can go back to sleep day and night! Every day, mom and dad will gain confidence and see baby take less time to fall asleep and enjoy longer sleeps.

Point: Every baby is a smart little human being. We have to respect that and not expect them to roll over and agree to fall asleep using a new routine the first time while crying or protesting! We need to gently reassure them and help them feel comfortable falling asleep.

(C) 2008 Natalie Ebrill All rights reserved worldwide.

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