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Tired of Worrying? 5 Ways to Turn This Around
What are you worried about?
If you haven’t worried about anything in the last week, don’t read this article.
But I guess you have. Even the most enlightened and spiritual will find themselves in a state of disquiet.
We worry about different things. We worry about our daughters, our marriage, our job, our parents, or our money.
Your daughter worries as much as you, but for different things. (Even though she acts like she doesn’t care)
She worries about her friends, her boyfriend or no boyfriend. She worries about making the team or getting into the college of her choice.
Worry is an uninvited guest.
Don’t wake up thinking I’m going to worry today. It distracts you when you’re driving, taking a shower, or trying to get work done. He arrives unexpectedly and does not want to leave.
Worry takes all your attention.
No matter what you are doing or where you are, when you have a worry attack, it consumes all of your attention. This is why you cannot concentrate and you find yourself preoccupied, scattered and in a great fog.
When worry takes over, you make stupid mistakes, like going to the grocery store to buy milk, then you buy everything but the milk.
Worry drains your “I feel good” energy.
Imagine your brain is a computer. Worry is like viruses and adware. When viruses attack your computer, everything slows down and you find yourself staring at the spinning circle.
It is the same with worry. You can’t focus on the good things in life because all your attention is consumed by worry.
Your thoughts start spinning like the circle spinning on the computer and your brain freezes.
Worry robs you of blessings and is contagious.
I remember 2 years ago in January I was leading a retreat one hour from Houston. The day before we retired, Houston had an unusual freeze. It only freezes over in Houston every 5 years. The media took full advantage of it. They continued to show crashes on the highway caused by ice. (In fact, they showed video of the same crash over and over again.) The news told everyone to stay home. The whole town was worried about the weather. (Anyone living north of Houston would have thought all this worrying was ridiculous.)
The women at the retreat called me to find out if we were going to cancel the retreat. The worry was contagious and I didn’t want to be responsible for the accidents. After watching the weather, (praying) and knowing Houston, I decided to do the retreat. Finally, the roads were good and there was no ice. The next day the weather warmed up into the 50’s. It was an amazing retreat for these women. We laughed and these women had major life-changing breakthroughs.
We all could have missed it. The collective concern could have prevented us from an incredible blessing.
5 Ways to Allay Worries
1. Name the concern
Worried thoughts spin so fast in our brain that it’s hard to know what we’re worrying about. These thoughts are like an old-fashioned record that gets stuck and plays the same thing over and over.
Take 5 minutes and write down what concerns you. Write all about it. What are you afraid of now and in the future? How does your worry affect the people you love? Write everything down.
Although it seems counter-intuitive, it saves you time in the long run.
2. Let your worry make the case
Give your worry time to make its case. Here is the secret. Tell your worry I’ll listen to you once, now give me your best shot. And then really go for it. To worry. To worry. To worry. Now you are done. You don’t have to worry about that same thing 5 million more times.
3. Now is the time to cross-examine your concern
Once the worry has made its case, you will cross-examine.
Ask your worry “is it really true?” The thought of worry will say, “Yes, that’s true.”
Then you can ask another question: “How likely is this to happen?” Yes, bad things happen, but how likely are they to happen to you? These questions help you get down the mountain to the molehill.
4. Take Action
Now that you have a more realistic picture of what’s on your mind, ask yourself this question. “What action should I take? “Is there anything I can do to proactively manage my worry. Decide what you’re going to do, then let it go.
You see, worry is about feeling out of control.
When you decide what you are going to do, the worry subsides because you have taken over the reins.
5. Seek blessing
Is there a blessing behind your worry?
Here’s how it goes. You are worried that your daughter will not do well in school next year and that she will fail. Write down any concerns that relate to this concern as these viruses multiply rapidly. You ask “is it true that she will fail school?” You answer “she could”. Then ask yourself “What is the probability of this happening? You say that she might fail biology and math, but she will probably do well in her other classes. Then you ask yourself “What action can- tutor for next year. You make another decision to assess how she is doing after the first month of school. Now you don’t have to worry because you have a plan in place. Ask ask yourself: “What is the blessing behind the worry? The blessing is that when you are not worried, you can enjoy your daughter more.”
Ask yourself this question. How would your life be different if you had a carefree day?
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