How Much Milk Does A 3 Day Old Per Session Email Reflections: 10 Simple Courtesies

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Email Reflections: 10 Simple Courtesies

Okay, you’re super busy or you’re on your last email before you go home. Maybe it’s first thing in the morning, you have a box full to read and manage, all before your meeting starts in 10 minutes. It’s easy to be rushed and reject the little things, however…

…have you ever wondered what your email looks like from a recipient’s perspective? Of course, every day, right? It’s so easy in our busy lives to let the little things go.

When you receive a poorly formatted email and you don’t know where each paragraph begins or ends — thoughts are scattered and confused — here’s reader chatter in action: “What’s this? , this is going to take me hours to decipher I don’t have time for this Can’t X be respectful I’ll just pretend I didn’t understand and maybe their follow up email will be clearer. Click and delete. Of course, you’ve never done that — laugh.

Luckily, your next email recipient is nicer and not deleting and faking. They just move on to the next email and leave yours for the “one day in the future” pile. And maybe there will or never will be an answer. Their response may even completely miss your point of view or provide feedback on only half of the items that need to be addressed.

If you’re having trouble getting quick replies or no replies at all, the recipient can send you a silent message. They might feel like you’re wasting their time or want to inquire about common courtesies via email.

Recently, after receiving ten emails in one day from separate independent professionals, with their personal “i” pronouns lowercased in addition to other elements. I asked them to enlighten me on their lax protocols. I received a flurry of negative responses. So that this article remains accessible to the whole family, here are some cleaned up answers: “I don’t have time, too many e-mails”. A few others added, “I do it for everyone.” I especially liked the “to” in the last two emails – I do it “to” everyone.

A human resources manager client told me that every day she deletes ten or twelve job applications, or about 12% of the total number she receives daily, that omit common courtesy emails. The majority come from people with advanced degrees. I laugh at the irony. She didn’t and sighed heavily. She found it even more serious on the number of emails she received from recruiters who also lacked these simple courtesies.

“Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” is a book I read a few years ago if I remember correctly. Normally, I wouldn’t care much about the little things either. However, consistent communication, whether verbal or written, always represents who we are and demonstrates respect. Using history as an indicator, communication has started and stopped wars.

Recently, I attended a talk with Michelle Singletary, author of “7 Money Mantras” and columnist for The Color of Money for The Washington Post. In the presentation, she repeatedly mentioned, “You better sweat the small stuff.” Of course, his reference was to money. Still, it was an important point. It takes pennies to turn into dollars, dollars to add up to ten, and so on on the monetary scale. Isn’t it true that if we leave out common courtesies and respect in emails, won’t that lock in dollars – directly or indirectly?

When you think about the benefits given for taking care of the “little things” in emails, here are three powerful mantras:

* A professional email attracts a professional response.

* When you respect other people’s time, they will generally respect yours.

* When communication is thoughtful and clear, the chances increase dramatically that the response will be returned the same way. The stinky thought attracts the same.

10 simple courtesies, gathered from reading 2,000 emails and comments from the HR director:

1. Focus on one topic per email. Keep the email simple so the recipient can focus quickly and easily. This improves the chances of a faster response, possibly any response. If you write to someone regularly, ask them what they like best.

2. A proper subject line will help reduce accidental deletion. It will also help locate that specific email faster if needed. When you forward or reply, edit the subject line to reflect your reply. You can also add your first name in the subject line as an additional identifier. I like to start mine with: “Personal note from Catherine” or follow the subject with: “From Catherine”. If you’re dealing with deadlines, add, “Please respond first.”

3. Keep each paragraph to a thought even if the paragraph turns out to be a fragmented sentence. You will want to limit email paragraphs to six sentences. A natural way to read from a computer screen is to use a swipe reading process. Screen reading dries the eyes and reduces blinking causing eyestrain.

4. Add subheader titles in the email when more than three paragraphs are in the email or more than three paragraphs follow the subheader. You can add captions as you type or proofread. This allows the eyes to move quickly and easily. It also allows the mind to move from topic to topic without developing cobwebs.

5. Proofread your email, whether long or short. We always think faster than our fingers can type. So what’s typed isn’t always what’s swirling around in our minds.

6. Is the subject flowing or was it jerky? The flow of an email is not the same as the flow of one chapter from one book to another. Flow allows the reader to easily transition and understand the material. If it’s choppy, the reader may daydream or pause and formulate a different response that might not match the material, creating additional emails from you to clarify. Frequent places to check the flow of your material are where you start or stop a message or sub-message.

7. Is there any kind of priority or order for the recipient to follow the material? Are there any steps or information that builds on the previous message? Before you can pour a glass of milk, you might want to buy the milk – laugh. When we know very well how to do something, it is easy to forget something, a common incident among computer experts. Do you know the recipient and their level of knowledge or experience on the subject? My favorite saying is, “When in doubt, write it down.”

8. For God’s sake, turn on the spell check feature. If you want to write lowercase pronouns, at least let the spell checker detect them for you.

9. Who are you? You’d think this one was common sense, at least I did. Yet every week I get 10-15 emails asking me a general question without telling me who they are or giving me background information. These are huge open questions that would take me years to answer. This falls into the category of disrespect.

10. What do you need or want? Forwarding an email that doesn’t ask for what you need forces the recipient to guess. Uncool. Speak up, don’t be shy. If you take rejection personally, hire a life coach to work with you. Declarations do not automatically ask for anything. Questions yes. My dad had a saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you can’t ask, squeak somewhere else. I can’t guess what kind of oil you need.” A bit harsh but it works. Go ahead and ask, and no it’s not a reflection on you.

We all think we have good communication skills. There could be some real surprises when you start practicing these 10 simple courtesies. Take your time, slow down to speed up. Approach it slowly so that the lessons stick. You’ll be glad you did. The next email you send could be to your next boss, client, or forwarded to the president. We never know. It happened to me and it could happen to you.

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