How Much Should A 5 1 11 Year Old Weigh Should I or Shouldn’t I Join a Support Group?

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Should I or Shouldn’t I Join a Support Group?

Donna was standing outside in the parking lot, in the dark, trying to talk herself into the building. Once inside the door, the next step would be to take the stairs to the conference room. The thought of it made his palms sweat and his heart pound. So what? She needed to enter the room to meet a room full of strangers who were probably grieving like her. “What did I get myself into?” she asked. “Am I going to talk? What will people think of me? What if I cry?”

His fears were beginning to outweigh his reasons for joining a grief group. This raised his anxiety level even more. He tried to visualize someone contemplating the same decision and asked himself, “Is it possible that someone else could be bound from their car and enter the room eager for the same experience? Why am I afraid?”

The truth is, in more than twenty years that we have facilitated education / support groups, participants have expressed these feelings in both ways. The idea of ​​attending a support group is intimidating to some people. Let me suggest that sharing the experience with someone else going through the loss of a loved one far outweighs the burden of thinking I should be able to handle it on my own.

Here are some basic points to consider as you weigh whether to attend a group. Knowing what to expect could be the comfort you need to join.

1. Grief groups aren’t just for women who complain. Our previous culture depicted women as the mourners and grievers in the family, while men were meant to be stoic and keep the family together. Today’s groups are a mix of men and women, young and old, relationships of all kinds, and death situations that range from the unexpected to the anticipated to the traumatic. Pain has no boundaries.

2. The dynamics of grievance groups may differ. We are all individuals with unique expectations. Like most encounters in life, something needs to “click” for you to feel comfortable with someone you’ve met and share personal information with. How many times have you changed doctors, teachers at school, neighbors, or friendships just because they didn’t click? Try your group, and if it doesn’t work, look for another option.

3. Not all groups are pain. Be aware of the type of group you join. Some are educational, some are faith-based, some are sharing groups. There are also drop-in groups where you go when you feel like it. Or there are open groups that typically meet once a month and the participants change frequently. Closed groups are generally for a certain number of weeks and participants attend consecutive weeks.

4. Pain groups are not formal therapy or professional counseling sessions. They are an assembly of individuals having a similar experience. It’s a place to find comfort when another person’s experience feels similar to your own. The groups are a place for sharing and support, but not for getting professional advice on how to deal with the specifics of your loss or other issues that result from the loss.

5. You may not be “ready” to attend a grief support group. If it’s too early in your grief, the thought of sharing feelings can be overwhelming. You may also be looking for immediate validation that the pain is getting easier, and the truth is that it takes time. There are no quick fixes. You know yourself better. Some people are ready in weeks, for others it may take months or years before they are ready to accept the loss and move on.

6. Grief groups aren’t just a place to vent your sadness, your uncertainty, your fears, and your shoulda, woulda, and coulda thoughts. It’s a place to learn how to replace those insecurities with action plans to help you get through your toughest moments.

7. Grief groups allow you to voice your regrets and acknowledge outbursts of anger and guilt. After all, these are the real ones. Protest how the loss changed your life. These often hidden emotions of grief can be discovered and neutralized with positive grief work.

8. Pain groups will not take away all your aches and pains. They are meant to help you through the difficult days and give you coping skills to manage your loss until you learn to live with it. You can live with it when you understand; and does not consume every waking moment.

9. Grief groups are a place for stories and memories. After all, it is the positive memories that remain long after the pain of the pain. They are the memories that honor the lives of our loved ones. Although some memories may fade, others will continue to bring peace and joy!

10. Grief groups can help you discover choices that can enrich your life in the future. Healing your pain sometimes involves hard choices, planning ahead, and perseverance. No one can “sorry” for you or determine your future path. You will be challenged to change values ​​and priorities. A grief group can help you understand your options.

11. Grief groups avoid judgment. As the cliché goes “You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Grief groups provide a safe place and avoid comparison. No one can determine that their loss is more significant than another.

12. Grief groups help to understand that family and social relationships are often misunderstood after a death. You may also find fighting in the family and your support system may seem to crumble. Understand the combination of factors that could be the trigger. While the group cannot solve your problems, it can help you gain a new perspective on how to rebuild peace.

13. Grief groups respect the role of all religions and spirituality in grief. Some groups build their support around Bible verses, teachings and comfort. Others recognize that sometimes pain challenges their faith for a period of time. Groups can offer practical, everyday ways to heal wounded faith. Each group should welcome participants to share their beliefs as part of their healing process.

14. Grief groups offer Hope. Grief groups help rebuild self-esteem, establish resilience and create stability. After a significant loss, you are forever changed. Discovering your new normal and the “new you” reveals so many possibilities for future growth and empathy.

15. Ultimately, grief groups serve a purpose other than admitting that loss hurts. It is a place to recognize that you are not alone. It is a place to surrender your hurt and allow others to absorb your pain with their own. It is a place to heal.

Don’t miss this opportunity in your grief journey. We make a lot of choices in life and when the loss has complicated our daily existence, we choose to allow others to understand, nurture, and offer their friendship. Pain groups need not be feared. They can be

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