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Balancing Your Work, Family and Social Life
Balance your work, family and social life
By Gene Griessman, PhD
Many of us have an image of personal balance as a set of scales in perfect balance every day. But this is an unrealistic goal. You get a lot of frustration if you try to allocate a predetermined amount of time each day for work, family and your social life. An illness can disrupt all your plans. A business project may require peaks of intense work, followed by valleys of slow time.
Balance requires constant adjustments, like an acrobat on a high wire constantly shifting his weight to the right and left. By focusing on four main areas of your life—emotional/spiritual needs, relationships, intellectual needs, and physical needs—at work and away from work, you can begin to walk the high wire safely.
Here, taken from my conversations with many highly successful Americans, are ten ideas for balancing all aspects of your life:
1. Make an appointment with yourself. Get rid of the idea that everyone takes precedence over you. Don’t use your organizer or calendar just to make appointments with others. Give it some prime time. Do something you enjoy regularly. It will recharge your batteries. Once you’ve put them on your calendar, look at those appointments. Kay Koplovitz founder of the USA cable television network, which is on the air 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. Koplovitz managed the network’s day-to-day operations for 21 years. For more than two decades, there was always a potential claim on his time. Therefore, she vigilantly protected a scheduled tennis match as if she had a business appointment.
2. Take care of your body. Having a high energy level is a trait held by many very successful people. No matter your current energy level, you can increase it by following these steps:
He eats Don’t skip meals. Your physical and mental energy depends on nutrition. Irregular eating patterns can cause a frayed temper, depression, lack of creativity and a nervous stomach.
Exercise. Time and time again, highly successful people mention the benefit of exercise routines. Johnetta Cole, president of Bennett College for Women and former president of Spelman College, takes a four-mile walk every morning. He calls it his mobile meditation. The benefits of exercise are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. If you are healthier and have more stamina, you can work better and longer.
Rest. A psychologist who has studied creative people reports that they rest often and sleep a lot.
3. Cut some slack. You don’t have to do everything. Just the right things. Editor Steve Forbes taught me a lesson: “Don’t be a slave to your in-box. Just because something is there doesn’t mean you have to do it.” As a result, every evening, I extract from my long list of things to do only a few “musts” for the next day. Yes, but three hours the next day, I have removed all the “musts”, I know that everything I did that day will be the icing on the cake. It’s a big psychological plus for me.
There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself hard, discipline yourself
do what needs to be done when you hold yourself to the highest standards. That builds stamina and turns you into a pro. At the moment, however, you must forgive. You will never be 100 percent efficient, nor should you expect to be. After something doesn’t work, ask: “Did I do my best? If you did, accept the result. All you can do is all you can do.
4. Blur the boundaries. Some very successful people achieve balance by setting aside times or days for family, recreation, hobbies or the like. They create boundaries around certain activities and protect them. Other individuals who are just as successful do the opposite. They blur the boundaries. Says the consultant Alan Weiss, “I work outside my home. In the afternoon, I could be watching my children play in the pool or be outside with my wife. On Saturday, or at ten o’clock at night, I could be working. I do things when the spirit moves me, and when they are suitable.”
Some jobs don’t lend themselves to this strategy. But breaking boundaries is possible more often than you might think. One way is to involve the people you care about in what you do. For example, many companies encourage employees to bring their spouses to conferences and annual meetings. It’s a good idea. If the people who mean a lot to you understand what you do, they can share more fully in your successes and failures. They are also more likely to be a good sound for your ideas.
5. Take a break. Many therapists believe that taking a break from a work routine can have great benefits for mental and physical health. Professional speaker and executive coach Barbara Pagano practices a kind of fast loading, planning a day every few months without an agenda. For her, this means staying in her pajamas, unplugging the phone, watching an old movie or reading a novel in bed. For that day, nothing happens, except what she decides from hour to hour. Added singer and songwriter Billy Joel, “There are times when you need to leave the camp.” Joel describes what farmers often do: let a plot rest so the soil can cool down.
6. Take the road less traveled. Occasionally, you get off the highway and take a side road, literally and figuratively. This road can take you to the library or the golf course. Do something out of the ordinary to avoid the well-worn grooves of your life. Try a new route to work, a different radio station or a different cereal. Break out of your old mold every now and then, with a new way of dressing or a different hobby. The road less traveled can be a reward after a demanding event, a carrot that you reward yourself or it can be a good way to relax before a big event. Bobby Dodd, the legendary football coach at Georgia Tech, knew the power of this concept. While other coaches put their teams through brutal practices twice a day, Dodd’s team went through their drills and practices, but then took time to relax, play soccer and enjoy the sights. of bowls. Did the idea work? In six straight championship games!
7. Be firm. Susan Taylor, editorial director of Essence, makes sure she has quiet time every morning. She considers it a time to center – to be still and listen. She keeps a pen and paper with her to write down ideas that come to her. How you use your alone time should match your values, beliefs and temperament. Some individuals dedicate a regular amount of time each day to visualizing themselves achieving their goals and dreams. Others read, pray, meditate, do yoga or just contemplate a sunrise or sunset. Whatever form it takes, the time spent alone can have a huge payoff. Achievers talk about an inner strength they find and how it helps them put competing demands into perspective. They feel more confident about their choices and more autonomous. Discover a sense of balance, a center.
8. Be a patriot in peacetime. Joe Posner achieved wealth and recognition by selling life insurance. Several years ago, Posner helped form an organization in his hometown of Rochester, NY to prepare disadvantaged children for school and life and, he hopes, break the cycle of poverty. You may find an equally worthy way to give back through your church, hospital, civic club, alumni association or by doing some pro bono work. Or you can help individuals privately, even anonymously. There are powerful rewards for balancing personal interests with the needs of the common good. One of the most wonderful things is the pure joy that can come from giving. Another reward is the better world you help create.
9. Do what you love to do. As a child, Aaron Copeland spent hours listening to his sister practice the piano because he loved music. Following that love, he became the most famous American composer of classical music. When I asked him years later if he was still disappointed by that choice, Copeland replied, “My life has been lovely.” What a word to sum up a life. By itself, loving what you do does not ensure success. You need to be good at what you love. But if you love what you do, the time you spend to become competent is less likely to be drudgery.
10. Focus on strategy. As important as it is, how to save time to balance your life is not the final question. This question is: “What do I save time for?” The strategy has to do with success – but success in what? If others pay your salary, being strategic generally means making sure you spend your time in a way that benefits them. If there is a dispute about how you should use your time, either convince the people who can reward or punish you that your idea of using time is appropriate, or look for another job. The “what for?” The question must also be asked about the life you live. It is really a complete question and it comes down to the question of totality.
So what makes for a successful life balance? I can think of no better definition than that given by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Laugh often and a lot; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to gain the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better, be it for a healthy child, a patch of garden or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life breathed easier because I lived. This is to be successful.
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