How Much Sleep Does A 10 Month Old Baby Need The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

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The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

You know you are a mother when … you promise that your husband tonight is the night, but happy sneak up to bed, relieved that he fell asleep on the bed.

Not to gossip or anything, but a recent visit from a friend of mine resulted in a conversation about sex after a child. Slowly, her sex drive returned as her hormones balanced out after the pregnancy. Their four-month-old son is happily sleeping in his room now, giving mom and dad their personal privacy. Doing better than me, she enjoyed the sex, but said lightly, “We did it last night, so I’m off the hook for a few days.” Simultaneously we both laugh, kindred spirits in the fact that sex at the moment is not the most important thing on our list.

Like many of my posts, I made the idea in “You know you’re a mother when…” this week happened to happen to my husband. Feeling rather witty and on point with my comment, I half-laughingly repeated it while smiling at my own personal accuracy. There was a kind of dead silence in the room. “It’s not that funny” he replied, neither impressed nor amused by my remark. “Go” I replied, once again validating what I know so many women can relate to and find laughable. He was neither convinced nor interested, and he gave me that look as he walked away.

In their humor-evoking and cliché way, men have been ranting about post-marital sex since the dawn of time. However, it started me thinking less about my own indifference to it and more about his need and desire as a man and a sexual creature. Most people know and agree with the fact that men need sex as a physiological part of their coding and composition. The personal feelings and opinions of women often cancel what men need and allow them to forget or to look more than this so-called need in their daily life (I am in that group).

So juggling all the things we do, not really listening to it and really needing/craving/wanting to sleep, how do we create that spark of interest to rekindle the fires?

In my research on ways to improve sex with your husband, I came across eHow.com. They suggest things like talking about your fantasies to be stimulated, being spontaneous and having sex in a risky place, or maybe creating a home video or a photo album just for their eyes. Great ideas, but who has time for that? (I clicked off that site because it was obviously written by someone without kids). To their credit, however, they suggested, 1) Talk! Yes, with him or her, not with your friends, not with anyone else. It is absolutely amazing how many lovers simply do not communicate openly and honestly with each other about what is pleasant about sex.

Expert Michael Webb, author of 500 Love Tips, offers 10 Ways to Bring the Magic Back to Your Relationship:

1. SEND THEM A UNIQUE GIFT

2. BECOME KIDS AGAIN

3. HAVE FUN WITH WATER

4. A MASSAGE WITH TWISTS

5. REPRESENTATION OF A ZIMELLA

6. STAY ON THE CLOUDS

7. WALK TO THE BEACH

8. ORGANIZE A PICNIC ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT

9. SHOW YOUR GREATNESS TO YOUR PARTNER

10. SPICE UP THE LOVEMAKING

I’m not sure if he even has kids (who’s watching them while I’m looking at the clouds?), but at least he’s getting close and his suggestions are appropriate.

So, I found this site, http://CharmYourWife.Com. Robert Steele writes, if men want more sex with their wives, they have to start educating themselves on the dos and don’ts of a woman’s emotional state. “When your wife has a comfortable sense of well-being, knows that you really love her for who she is and that of all the billions of women in the world, you only want her, then you will probably get as much sex as possible. handle”! He also continues to say: “To romance your wife is to make her feel special – like she is the most special woman in the world for you. To romance your wife is for you also “court” – as’ and if you are. always “hunting” to win her heart.

My favorite quote from him is “when a husband knows how to please his wife emotionally and romantically, she will naturally want to please. That’s how women are “wired”.

I found it interesting that even though I know my husband needs sex and we can do “things” to improve it, creating a mental and emotional connection is really the key to that locked door. It also made me realize that I have the power to create that connection myself. When my husband comes home and I instantly tell him how my son made a dent in the wall, the property taxes came and I didn’t have time to dye my hair, all he wants to do is withdraw and disperse. So it’s up to me to have more lighthearted conversations and less complaining. More about what was good in the day, what things worked and the events that made me happy and brought joy to the children. Then we would like to recover the gesture, feel open to listen and free to share in return. All the things that I really want and the beginning of creating the closeness that we both want in the end.

I will get back to you on how well it works. In the meantime you may want to send this post to your husbands and see if they are interested in any of the suggestions.

Lying on my soapbox,

JB

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