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Parental Alienation Memoir Review – A Father’s Heartbreak
Memory of Michael Jeffries, A Family’s Heartbreak – Parents’ Introduction to Parental Alienation, describes his transition from beloved father, to exiled provider. It is a painful but fascinating read. The book is part “Dear Diary,” part window into the therapist/patient relationship, and part academic treatise on the various neuroses and personality disorders that led to the living hell that Jeffries experienced, and in some modi is still alive.
Like a pointillist painting, where the further back you stand, the clearer the picture becomes, Parental Alienation is a series of apparently innocent mis-communications, or concerns for the well-being of a child; and it is only when the dots are connected that you see the complete picture.
Jeffries went from the American dream of a wife, and two loving boys, to the dream of Parental Alienation, which is a situation where one parent, usually the mother, actively works to destroy the relationship between the other parent and the child Once the loving son, he was turned against him by an ex-wife whose fears of abandonment and insecurity destroyed the relationship between father and son.
When Jeffries decided it was time to walk away from his marriage, he was unable to pull a trigger for his ex-wife’s emotional imbalance that led her to enroll their youngest son in her psychosis. It started with his 11-year-old boy sleeping in his bed, and continued until the father/son bond was strained to the point of breaking.
In harrowing detail, Jeffries explains the progression of his son’s conversion from young lover to emotionally exhausted teenager who cannot tolerate the ongoing pain of contact with his father. In remarkably clear language, Jeffries explains the transformation of his son, and the tactics used by his ex-wife to create the transformation.
By detailing the seemingly harmless actions of a concerned parent, Jeffries is able to connect the dots of how a mother turned her son against his father. It paints a picture of the powerlessness of the court system to help, based on the inherent bias of the courts in favor of the mother, and the difficulty in attacking what appears to be nothing more than the mother’s concern for the well-being of their children. No one wants to believe that a mother could be so deceitful and dangerous, but she can be.
This book is an excellent exploration into the twisted “Wonderland” that is Parental Alienation. The lies, the deceptions, and the volcanic eruptions of anger for seemingly minor transgressions, these are the battles in a war without winners.
For every man who suffers this hell, for every lawyer who fights this form of child abuse and for all the therapists who have to treat collaterally damaged children, this book must be a first resource in their arsenal.
In clear and concise language, Dr. Joel Davies and Michael Jeffries explain the real-world effects and underlying subconscious motivations for this form of abuse.
These are difficult cases to prove, because on the surface everything seems essentially normal. It is only when you connect the dots, that you can see the whole picture. As stories like Jeffrie’s are made public, awareness will grow, and hopefully fathers and their children can be reunited, or better yet, never separated.
The book is available at http://afamilysheartbreak.com/
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